Public Speaking Fears - What They Can Teach You
Why Public Speaking Fears can teach you one of the most important lessons you'll ever learn.
Is there any point in being afraid of public speaking?
The 'point' of it though is largely up to you.
For example if you let it beat you by turning away from opportunities to get up and speak ... well, in that case the 'point' is that it will probably diminish your enjoyment of life. You might kid yourself that it's only public speaking that you don't like, but you and I both know that's not true. Fears tend to come bundled together. Most people I've seen with public speaking fears also fear (ok, ok 'don't like') approaching people about their business for example, or asking their boss for anything.
They live more like mice than humans.
But I want to talk to you about another possibility.
If you can understand what public speaking fears are trying to teach you, then you could use it to literally transform your whole life situation.
What Public Speaking Fears Are Trying To Teach You
That you are making a mistake.
When you feel bad about the idea of public speaking, you are mistaken.
But only 100% of the time (thanks Byron Katie).
You are mis-taking. Taking one thing to be another.
And what is the thing you are mis-taking?
I don't know.
But don't worry because you do.
All you have to do is look. Awareness is what you need, not some clever-dick techniques or affirmations or pumped-up NLP anchors or hypnosis or intense visualizations of success - or any other new age snake oil remedies.
Just awareness. That's it. It's so easy. And it can be quick.
Let's look at how powerful and how fast a shift in awareness can be.
A couple had been married for 32 mostly miserable years. The fighting and niggling had got worse and worse and were now at the point here they both felt as though the love had long since departed. Perhaps you know people like that. Perhaps like me you've been there (maybe even twice like me :)
What chance would you give these two? Not much. In my experience it normally just gets worse until its inevitable end.
But in this case it didn't end that way. On one day it all changed. The love returned instantly. The bitching and misery of the past were forgotten overnight and replaced with compassion and real love for one another.
He was diagnosed with terminal cancer.
Think deeply about this.
They didn't need to stay up all night studying how to be lovers again. They had no more knowledge that day than they had the day before. No techniques. No effort.
Awareness. Peace. Love.
They just dropped all the garbage and what was left? Two human beings who immediately saw the need in front of them.
Now it's your turn.
Shine that awesome power of awareness on your fear of speaking.
What do you see?
Perhaps the mis-take can be summed up as "I really care about what other people might think of me."
"Because I might make a dog's dinner of this talk"
Ok. Why does that cause you fear?
"Because they might think I'm not very good at speaking"
Ok. But why does that make you feel bad?
"If they think less of me I'll feel bad"
Aha!!! That's just not true is it? I mean you could be sleeping in your bed and I could be thinking you're useless at speaking and you're not going to feel anything are you?
You've mis-taken one thing "They might think I'm useless" to mean another "I'll feel bad".
What if you suddenly became aware that just because someone else feels a certain way about me, I don't have to be affected in any way.
We don't see the world the way it is anyway - we see it as we are. So the person who thinks you are useless? What else in their life do they think is useless? Lots probably.
In that case the only proper, human way to feel about your detractor is compassion, surely?
Feel sorry for them. Be amused by them. But be afraid of them? I don't think so.
You decide what your public speaking fears mean.
They can teach you one of the most important lessons in your life.
What other people think of you has no effect on you.
Treat your detractors with compassion because they obviously need to judge others and belittle them to make themselves feel good. Which is very, very sad.
Bring the unfathomable power of your own awareness to bear on your fears. They don't stand a chance.
Express yourself by speaking in public while you still can.
I can't wait to hear you :)
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